If I have to exercise again I swear I’ll loose my mind.

If I have to watch what I eat again I swear I’ll die.

The question arises:

Would I rather be unhealthy and fat or crazy and dead?

You ask yourself – why do they do this? The question plagues and frustrates you; and drives you to ask even more questions. Questions which lead you to believe they have no consideration for you. You even begin to question your relationship. You wonder, how you landed up with some one who is so uncaring and selfish- this person, who can not be bothered to fill up the ice cube tray is the same person who can’t find the clothes hamper when the floor is so much more convenient. The same person who is the last one out of bed but can’t be bothered to make it. You think, couldn’t they be the one to pick up the dry cleaning, or go to the market – just once. Your next thought is, when was the last time I received flowers for no reason at all? Better yet, when was the last time I felt like giving flowers for no reason at all? You remember previous times when you left each other little notes on the bathroom mirror declaring your love for one. Now your notes have become correspondence about errands that must be run and projects that must be completed. You start to wonder what has happened to your relationship – when all you really wanted was something cold to drink.

With the writers strike there are no writers for scripted television shows – which means anyone who can produce a television show without writers can have a television show. This means MORE Reality TV. As Maria in West Side Story said “please make it not be true”.

Imagine if our beloved authors went on strike and the publishing houses decided to print books anyway – who would write them?  The editors? The publishers?  And if they did write them, what would they be like? Can you even imagine such a thing?  Well that’s sort of what’s happening to television.  A whole new era is about to be heralded in the television landscape.

Between anyone who has a camera with a YouTube account and reality shows our viewing lives will be changed forever. And as Paddy Chayesfsky, in that brilliant 1976’s film Network, predicted – the landscape of entertainment has reverted to the days of the Roman Forum where having people being eaten by lions is the entertainment of the day.

Just turn on the TV – you’ll see what I mean
Some of the Reality TV shows that are on the air now, about to air, or in development:
Gladiators
Duel
Clash of the Choirs
Biggest Loser
1000 Ways to Die
Alien Encounters
Bash
The Deadliest Warrior
The Gauntlet
House of Horrors
Surviving Terror

NEED I SAY MORE?

Next time you read a book, a magazine, a newspaper, watch a movie or tune into a scripted television show – remember the words were written by some one – a writer.

Chapter 13 always ends with the world crashing down. I don’t just mean a few little untidy upsets, I mean leveling the lives of these brave beauties. Everything seems hopeless. All is lost. Life no longer has any meaning. All the things our valiant, strong, worthy, smart, caring, inquisitive, forceful, energetic, brilliant and gorgeous leading ladies have worked for is destroyed – no not destroyed – decimated. But! Their confusion, loneliness, dismay, anger, ill-will and daunting dis-ease lasts for but a page and a half of blank space. You see, after a page and a half of blank pace Chapter 14 begins. Ah, thank goodness for Chapter 14. Chapter 14 starts with the worlds “after a while…”, or “eventually…”, or “it came to pass…”. Or one of my favorites “a new day dawned…”.

After a while… becomes a specific amount of time. It becomes the time it takes your eyes to get from the end of Chapter 13 to the first sentence of Chapter 14 – perhaps 145 spaces, half a page, certainly no more than two. You know for certain that in only a turn of the page all trouble will pass. You know without a doubt a brighter day will dawn. You know as sure as you are standing there that the light will once again shine gently on our heroine’s face and lead her on the path of renewed hope, healing, and of course, success in any endeavor she chooses. “After a while…” encompasses the myriad of tasks, adventures, conflicts and struggles our heroine needed to experience in order to either walk again, find the missing evidence, come to her senses, discover a new planet or just find the partner she’s been looking for. Sometimes I wish I could be a 5’8” raven haired beauty with the soul of an angel, the courage of ten thousand and my beloved by my side. Perhaps then I would have only a page and half until I reached the safety of “after a while…”.

Looking back at 2007 what book affected you the most?

D: “What I give to you, what – what I share, I do with no one else. I like to think that what you give to me, you do with nobody else. Now that – that may sound silly to you, but here’s the thing I think is silly – the idea that jealousy or fidelity is reserved for romance. I always suspected that there was a connection between you and that man. That you got something form him you didn’t get form me.”

A: “I probably do. But gosh, what I get from you, Denny… people walk around today calling everyone their best friend. The term doesn’t have any real meaning anymore. Mere acquaintances are lavished with hugs and kisses upon a second or at most third meeting. Birthday cards get passed around offices so everybody can scribble a snippet of sentimentality for a colleague they’ve barely met. And everyone just loves everyone. As a result, when you tell somebody you love them today, is isn’t much heard. I love you Denny. You are my best friend.”

A: “I can’t imagine going through life without you as my best friend.”

Denny Crane and Allen Shore from Boston Legal

Boston Legal
Over the ledge
Season 3 episode 0
Written by David E Kelly
Airdate Nov 28,2006

By the ninth grade I had discovered Harlequin Romances and Barbara Cartland. Through them I saw the world, visited exotic locations, and learned of foreign cultures, but most of all, I fell in love time and time again with suave and sophisticated alpha men. All of my spending money that I earned by delivering newspapers and baby sitting went to buy Harlequins or the latest Barbara Cartland.  These were books that were small enough to conceal inside other books, inside my jacket pocket, or even tucked inside the top of my knee high’s. I couldn’t get enough of them, but at the same time, I always felt embarrassed for other people to see what I was reading.

Romances were silly and frivolous and a cause for ridicule when I was caught reading one, so I began hiding them. I began creating my own book covers out of paper bags, making up some story about it being a borrowed book that I didn’t want to get damaged, which fooled no one. The paper covers gradually changed to cloth, plastic or leather, each one a little better than the last, but all purchased for the same reason—to hide the fact that I was reading a romance novel.

Thankfully, over the years the perception of reading romance novels has changed. It’s been a long time since I felt the need to conceal what I was reading. In fact, I have met a lot of nice people by talking about what ever romance novel we were reading. When my sister gave me a book cover for Christmas a couple of years ago, I tossed it into a drawer thinking it might be handy to use to hold coupons.

Now a days, if the girl ringing up my purchases at Wal-mart gives a little smirk when she sees a Harlequin in the pile, I boldly look her in the eye and dare her to comment, no longer ashamed or embarrassed about being caught reading romance novels.

So how many of you have a drawer full of book covers that you no longer need to use?

Step 1: The Introduction.  I was introduced to romance by mistake.  Yep, a big fat mistake.  I had started a new job and in an effort to "get to know" the ladies in the office I suggested we start a book club.  This was around the time that Oprah’s Book Club was huge so everyone was receptive to the idea.  Our book was chosen by random drawing of the top ten list that week.  The random drawing winner was The Wedding by Julie Garwood.  None of us knew it was a romance, let alone a historical romance.

Step 2: The First Taste.  I began my journey of reading with an open mind.  The first chapter was pretty good, and the second was even better.  Maybe reading historical romance wasn’t such a bad idea.  The writings of Julie Garwood drew me in slowly, but with a steady consistency.

Step 3: The Hero Appointment.  Julie Garwood molded a wonderful hero in Conor.  The more I read about the past and current issues in his life, the more I wanted him to achieve his goals and become happy with his life.  And not only was emotionally drawn to the hero, but as most of you ladies know I love a sizzlin’ hot hero, and Conor is one!

Step 4: The Closure. I remember closing my first historical romance novel with a sigh.  Not only were the hero and heroine happy and content, but so was I.  And that feeling was wonderful.  And now I knew I had to find another book by Julie Garwood.

Step 5: The Search. I have fond memories of dragging my hubby to the local bookstore and looking for all of Julie Garwood’s books.  The first visit I felt like a tourist in a new country. The bookstore, and especially the romance section, was full of wonderful colors, fabulous titles, and some pretty interesting covers.  That day I left the bookstore with three new books.

Step 6: The Pile Begins.  Now that I have found this wonderful author and have started to buy her backlist, my nightstand seems to disappear under the small stack of books I have purchased to read.  My excitement at my future joy brings a smile to my face.

Step 7: The Random Selection. I have finished the entire backlist for Julie Garwood. Now, in the isle of the bookstore, my eyes scan the titles of the books and I wait for something to jump out at me.  And a new author does – Catherine Coulter. So I buy a few of her books.

Step 8: The Pile Grows. My nightstand is no longer in sight and there are a couple of small piles of books sitting on the floor next to my disappearing nightstand. My joy is multiplying.

Step 9: The Web Influence. To my delight and surprise, I find a website and a message board with other romance readers and authors.  I had no idea there were so many of us out there.

Step10: The List. Since joining several message boards, I have received countless suggestions on books and authors and realized there is a cornucopia of authors that I would like to read.  So now I compile a list of books and authors that I need to search for at the local bookstore.

Step 11: The Pile Grows.  Yes, this is a repeat of Step 8, but now the nightstand has been trashed and a large bookcase has been squeezed into its place.  And there are still piles of books on the floor. But as my grandmother always used to say "my cup runneth over".

Step 12: The Defeat. At this point, I have come to the realization that I will never finish reading all of the romance novels, as every day there are more wonderful authors that I discover through message boards and websites. It is great to know that my supply will never run dry!