There have been several romance novels that featured professional athletes. True Love and Other Disasters by Rachel Gibson featured professional hockey players. Susan Elizabeth Phillips centered her book Natural Born Charmer on a football star. Mills and Boon did an entire series on Polo Players and a Harlequin series featured NASCAR race car drivers. One can certainly see the allure of featuring tall, big, physically fit men as heroes. So why it is that no one’s done a series on baseball players?
I’ll tell you why – it’s because they spit. You read right, they commit the one heinous offence that both Marisa and I find beyond reprehensible. Might I also state, that you never see women spit. Men spit on the street all the time. Most women I know would rather choke on their own saliva than have it leave their mouth. Are men born with a with a spit gene? Or is it something their taught in grade school, because I must have been absent on the day the teacher was giving that lesson.
And when it comes to getting straight A’s in spitting, no one gets higher grades than the professional baseball player. I’m a diehard Yankee fan and I find it almost impossible to watch a game and eat dinner at the same time. From the pitcher to the manager, it’s just random close ups of guys hurling balls of saliva from their mouths. Some of them just purse their lips and spit it out, others go through various gyrations of hacking up the most gosh awful flemmy mucous you ever saw. EWWWW! It’s disgusting. I cannot even imagine what the floor of the dugout or the dirt on the field must be like after a game. I can only assume that the grounds keepers hose the entire place down, because it’s got to be one big saliva mini stream.
It begs the question – at least in my mind – Why is it that you never see other sportsmen spitting? Imagine if they spit all over a basketball court? It would be nothing but mayhem with size 14 sneakers slipping and sliding. Or football – imagine those pros trying to hurl spit through their face masks? Or even jockeys taking the time to spit while riding on the backs of an animal whose main objective is to fly like the wind – imagine the back wash on that?!
So, I ask, and I really want to know – What is in the throats of most major league baseball players that make them compelled to hurl saliva and flem all over the place like it was confetti at a New Year’s Eve party? It ain’t appetizing and it sure as hell ain’t sexy. And that’s why I don’t think they’ll be doing a romance series on baseball players.
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SportLife » Spitting Heroes?
on Aug 8th, 2009
@ 1:36 am:
[...] tall, big, physically fit men as heroes. So why it is that no one’s done a series on baseb Go to Source Leave a comment Related PostsJuly 30, 2009 — Many Professionals Are Grateful They Don’t [...]
kh
on Aug 9th, 2009
@ 12:37 am:
yea i t kind of werid but they are hot int eh uniform
GO Giants!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
Dee
on Aug 9th, 2009
@ 11:28 am:
While making me laugh, this blog also reminded me of an incident years ago. I was on a spring training trip with 5 friends. [While this sounds glamorous, six girls and 1 hotel room is not - especially with no housekeeping on weekends.] However, we were at the first game of our baseball weekend, which was the Oakland A’s vs whatever team it was…after the game the players made their way over for autographs. Like a heat seeking missile, Jeremy Giambi targeted me [which was an ugh moment to begin with]. Right before he holds his hand out for my ball, he lets the biggest wad fly. My friends to this day insist that was his mating call. I’m still traumatized…
Maria Lokken
on Aug 9th, 2009
@ 12:06 pm:
Dee – LOL – you made me and Marisa spit out our coke. A mating call indeed!
Dee
on Aug 9th, 2009
@ 12:29 pm:
It also didn’t help that I was the first person he went to.
Teresa
on Aug 9th, 2009
@ 4:25 pm:
I know I’m going to get laugh at but I don’t see the big deal about spitting. I guess because I was raised with boy’s, I’m a tomboy. Don’t get me wrong if you spit all the time something gotta be wrong with you but every once in a whole is fine. And come on sometimes you have to spit, if something comes up you don’t want it to go back down do ya?
Dee
on Aug 9th, 2009
@ 4:29 pm:
I know what you mean. I have seen it in all 4 sports, but it’s mostly prevalent in baseball because some players, like Mr. Giambi in my memory, also use chewing tobacco in the dugout. That did gross me out so badly.
Maria Lokken
on Aug 9th, 2009
@ 4:37 pm:
Teresa – you’re right an occasional spit isn’t the end of the world – although I think I’m a bit too sensitive when it comes to the whole issue. BUT, baseball players do it ALL THE TIME. Seriously, watch a game, you can not get away from it. Really.
Dee – They spit in the other sports? Where? I’ve really never seen it.
I imagine when it comes to hockey it doesn’t really matter, it probably freezes and becomes yucky felm ice. (I did not just write that, did I?)
Dee
on Aug 9th, 2009
@ 4:42 pm:
Hockey, football and boxing.
Maria Lokken
on Aug 9th, 2009
@ 4:43 pm:
Oh you’re right! I forgot about boxing. Yeah, nothing like an evening of blood, sweat and spit.
Dee
on Aug 9th, 2009
@ 4:45 pm:
When it comes to baseball, unless it’s tobacco spit, I’m not bothered. The gratuitious on camera cup adjusting which Derek Jeter is famous for is another story.
Maria Lokken
on Aug 9th, 2009
@ 4:48 pm:
Dee – that’s the third time today you made me laugh. You’re a riot!
I’m always so busy looking at Derek’s face I didn’t notice the cup adjustments. But now that you mention it – what is up with that? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman adjust her breast.
Dee
on Aug 9th, 2009
@ 5:05 pm:
Maybe he’s giving his a date a signal?
Rowena
on Aug 10th, 2009
@ 6:22 pm:
Jill Shalvis has a new baseball series with the first book released last month called Double Play. I read DP and thought it was great and didn’t notice Pace spitting at all…he was smexy! =)
Maria Lokken
on Aug 10th, 2009
@ 6:53 pm:
Hi Rowena –
Thanks for the heads up, I’m going to have to check it out.
Romancing Trashy Novels #5
on Aug 23rd, 2009
@ 5:17 am:
[...] Hehe… check out Romance Novel TV’s semi-rant on Spitting Heroes. [...]
Kathy Savas
on Aug 24th, 2009
@ 4:24 pm:
Hey, did I tell you about the time I was touring a group from West Virginia, and one of the guys had a spit bottle in his shirt pocket for his chaw wad? Ewwwwww.