A terrible thing has happened. I’ve lost the joy of reading. It’s been gone for several years now and no matter what I’ve tried, I can’t get it back.
Once upon a time, reading was not only a great joy, but literally the emotional glue that held this extremely shy girl together. Reading has become a chore and I must force myself to do something that I once looked forward to more than a wickedly delicious dessert. I feel like my best friend has died.
I’m not sure when my best friend first fell ill, but I suspect the first hint of fever appeared the minute I started writing. To become a better writer, I started analyzing books, finding out what was wrong. Soon as I learned what head hopping was, Nora Roberts was forever lost to me. Wah!
The more I learned about writing, the less I enjoyed reading. At first I could knock myself out of the reading doldrums by going outside the romance genre. Thrillers could still grab me and reel me in. And I admit—now don’t start throwing tomatoes—I enjoyed those weepy, sad ending Oprah books.
But alas, eventually even reading outside the genre could no longer revive my love of reading. I grieved. I gnashed my teeth. No matter how much I railed against the unfairness of it all (a writer shouldn’t feel like reading is work? It should be fun, right? A relief, a release) I could not recapture the joy.
Then someone convinced me to try audio books. Ah! Zap, zing, no words to stare at. It was back, the joy, the verve, the happiness. I cleaned house with I-pod ear buds dangling from my ears and Audible became my new best friend.
I listened and listened and listened and then one day I started saying the dialogue before the narrator did and I’m saddened to tell you that 80% of the time I was right. I knew where the writer was going before they got there! So happened next?
You guessed it. I’d get on the treadmill, get bored after ten minutes. Shut down the MP3 player, hop off and forget about the book for days. Then days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months and I was back to not reading (listening) again.
Then after making myself trudge joylessly through the RITA books I realized a very important thing. Nothing was wrong with the books and nothing was wrong with me.
I am a professional writer. Reading is work for me. It’s not something I can turn to for relaxation. When I’m reading I’m on the job. But writing, ah writing, this is where my joy lies. This is where I can get caught up again and spirited away and taken to new places. My old friend isn’t dead. She’s just transformed. Writing is the new glue that holds me together.
While I’ll forever mourn the loss of my reading innocence I know that is part of the process and it makes me a better writer. I won’t stop reading, but I have stopped expecting it to be a lark.
That said, if anyone out there has a cure for my reading malaise, I’d love to take a stab at getting the joy back, although I suspect it’s a lost cause. I’ll have to take my jollies where I can get them.
On the blank page.
Lori Wilde is the author of over 25 books. Her latest release All Of Me is now available. You can learn about Lori on her website and don’t forget to check out PJ’s review of All Of Me. Lori will be stopping by throughout the day to chat and answer any of your questions .
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Marisa
on Apr 16th, 2009
@ 6:07 am:
Hi Lori! Welcome to RNTV and congratulations on your new release All Of Me.
Wow, what a revealing and thought provoking blog. I totally get how reading would be ‘work’ for you. I’ve had a similar thing with television – you know sometimes after a long day of editing or screening I just can’t watch any more TV because I sit there and pick it apart – the editing, the shot list, the direction, the score, how they got the rights and clearances, etc. I don’t know what I would do if I lost my joy of reading. I mean, sure, I’ve had some reading slumps throughout the years – so on some levels I get what you’re saying – but I can’t imagine my love of reading getting up and walking out the door. What about things like magazine articles – can you still get joy from reading non-fiction, prose, poetry? I was wondering what you’ve replaced reading with? Music?
Stacy ~
on Apr 16th, 2009
@ 6:24 am:
Morning Lori! It’s great to see a Deadline Hellion here
Oh, I am mourning your loss! I would be devastated if this happened to me. Like many readers, and as Marisa mentioned, I’ve gone through slumps, but nothing so prolonged it worried me.
Trying a new genre? If you read contemporary romance, try a historical or paranormal. Go for straight-up mystery or science fiction. I used to adore reading biographies of movie stars from the 40’s. Or Young Adult books are very popular. Shaking it up might help a little. I hope one day you can find enjoyment in it again.
PJ
on Apr 16th, 2009
@ 7:19 am:
Hi Lori! Welcome to RNTV! I enjoyed the Wedding Veil Wishes series. What’s up next for you?
I’m so sorry you’ve lost your joy of reading. I imagine that’s a occupational hazard for many professional writers. Like Stacy, I go through reading slumps but switching sub-genres or moving to another genre such as political thrillers or bios usually revives the fun of reading for me. Sometimes though, I’ve had to step away from books completely for months or even years. I hated doing that but when I returned everything was fresh and new and enjoyable again. I also like Marisa’s suggestion of trying something totally different from what you write – like magazines, bios, short stories or YA.
Do you find yourself doing the same thing with movies? Reciting the dialogue before the characters on the screen?
Kati
on Apr 16th, 2009
@ 8:54 am:
Hi Lori – I can sort of sympathize. But the opposite has kind of happened to me.
I “discovered” audiobooks a year or so ago. I joined Audible because too often on my commute, I’m unable to get a seat, which means that I’m standing. It’s very hard to me to stand on a moving train and hold on AND hold a book (and turn the page). Thus, I started w/the audiobooks. Of course, my 45 minute commutes were the reason that I used to average 5-6 books a week. Now I average about one or two, and that’s if I’m in the mood.
Also, I occasionally have a book ruin reading for me for a while. What do I mean by that? It happened when I read The Spymaster’s Lady by Joanna Bourne. For almost six weeks after I read it, I couldn’t find a single book that did it for me. I had about 15 DNF books. Until I read the Virgin River series by Robyn Carr, that got me going again.
But I can totally sympathize with you. It’s so tough when reading becomes a chore rather than a habit, and for so many of us here at RNTV, reading is like breathing, there’s no living without it.
Maria Lokken
on Apr 16th, 2009
@ 9:11 am:
Hi Lori- welcome to RNTV and congrats on your new release. I sorry to hear about your loss. I too go through periods of mourning or a reading slump. Alas there is no pill for it. I think it’s one of those things you have to wait out.
Lori Wilde
on Apr 16th, 2009
@ 9:46 am:
Thanks for the sympathy everyone. I knew you all would understand. Strangely my malise has not seemed to have transferred to nonfiction. I used to dread research and now I love it. It’s so weird.
Val Pearson
on Apr 16th, 2009
@ 10:21 am:
Accccccckkkkkkk! I have always wanted to write and couldn’t imagine my life without reading! I think I might just stay a reader rather than a writer. I love your books!
Donna
on Apr 16th, 2009
@ 10:28 am:
Lori, I have your book here on my TBR pile and hope to start it soon…I go thru that same thing I read a great book and then nothing compares to it and it is a chore or sometimes I just want the book to END already since I have so many here….. Hope you get over it very soon….
Donna
Lori Wilde
on Apr 16th, 2009
@ 11:01 am:
Thanks Val and Donna.
When I was a kid I would always finish a book. I considered it a badge of honor. Then I realized too many books in the world, too few hours in the day. Grab me right off the bat or I’m outta there.
Lori
Caffey
on Apr 16th, 2009
@ 11:03 am:
Hi Lori!!! Maybe its because of your obsession compulsive behavior is improving (hey I’m trying to save myself here too why its the total opposite for me, you’ll never see me in those competitions to even write a paragraph). So for me writing would be too much work, while its a joy for you! So it makes total sense for you where your love is writing. I remember most authors would talk about reading horror and thrillers while they wrote lots of romance. But atlas, that didn’t work for you. I think you shouldn’t try so hard, cuz it making it worse. So just let yourself go with what you love to do now, that be writing and too those other times do what you love, let it be movies, etc and I bet the reading will come back to you someday. But in the meantime all the reading you doing while writing counts for more than you know!
Virna De Paul
on Apr 16th, 2009
@ 11:53 am:
Hi Lori. My reading definitely slowed down when I started writing down. Worse, I found I couldn’t read my favorite genre (the one I was writing) because I became so bogged down trying to break down the structure. But thankfully audio books have worked for me. Hope you kick start your reading groove soon.
cheryl c.
on Apr 16th, 2009
@ 12:48 pm:
I am so sad that you can’t enjoy reading any more. We simply must do something about this!
Have you tried reading historical romances? Maybe a sexy highlander, cowboy, or duke could “turn you on.”
Lori Wilde
on Apr 16th, 2009
@ 3:12 pm:
Caffey,
Excellent advice. I still feel sad though.
Lori Wilde
on Apr 16th, 2009
@ 3:14 pm:
Virna,
I have a Harlan Coben book on my bedside table. I keep thinking I’ll read it when I get the next book done. But then I have another book due right after that. Which is a good thing. I think part of it is that I feel guilty when I’m reading and not writing.
kh
on Apr 17th, 2009
@ 11:37 am:
love your books gald to see uhere
Gillian
on Apr 17th, 2009
@ 9:31 pm:
Lori,
I am sending you a big hug. I can’t imagine not having that wonderful world to escape to every now and then. However, that said, I too go through periods of time when I don’t want to read. I find an author that I like and read every one of his/her books. Then I change genres and find an author in that genre. One thing I find that gets me back into books again is reading to younger readers….middle school age maybe. Their novels are so creative and innocent, like they are. I think it is the expressions on their faces, as the plot thickens or as they identify with what the protagonist is feeling, that gets me caught up in it too. Try reading to one or more middle school aged children. It might get you ‘back in the saddle’ again. I hope so.
In any event, keep writing because I love to read your books.
orannia
on Apr 18th, 2009
@ 1:47 am:
(((Lori))) I don’t know how I would feel if I lost my pleasure in reading…devastated? In my previous job I used to edit…when work became incredibly busy (since it was always busy) I would find myself editing everything – the books I was reading, street signs, menus. I couldn’t switch off.
At its worst, I found that some intense physical exercise prior to picking up a book helped, because I was so tired my brain wanted something ‘easy’. But, you need to find the right book so that you continue the switching off process….a book that will distract you so much with the story that your mind can relax. I agree with the others – changing genres…but how about a complete change. If you like reading for research, how about a nonfiction book – perhaps an autobiography on a (in)famous character in history? Or something lulling. My choice went things got really bad – All Creatures Great and Small by James Herriot. The characters leapt of the page that I was just swept up in the story.
GOOD LUCK! And all the best with the release of your book
Annie Solomon
on Apr 20th, 2009
@ 11:54 am:
I just read this, Lori, and I must tell you that I suffer from the same malady. Like you, I’ve even gone off audio books. I do still escape through TV, but even movies have lost some of their edge for me. I think a lot of it is the writing, as you say. But some of it, I suspect, may be those horrid hormones–of lack of them. The concentration just isn’t there. It’s good to hear from someone else who has also experienced the same thing and know I’m not alone!